I was a different person now. Its been just few hours since I got married, but everything around me, seemed to change suddenly. Either it was due to all the lessons I was taught since last month, on my responsibilities after marriage, or my own outlook about my new responsibility I found myself serious, to accept the role. I was overwhelmed by the love my family had given me and they stood by me. I won’t let them down. My mother’s final advice “We love you son and will always care for you. Will love to see you happy always. This is all done for your better future. Accept your fate and be the good daughter in law and wife. It will be best for your happiness. Deepak has accepted you gladly and now it is your turn to fulfil your responsibilities. Husband is the world of a woman. Keep him happy and you will be happy for life. You are wise and we all look forward to you.” I was ashamed hearing this, but simultaneously touched by her emotions. She had tears in her eyes and I knew my mother would not be wrong. I vowed not to let her down and obey her every instruction. I started preparing myself mentally for my wifely duties. My feelings for my husband were not the same anymore. Now he meant everything for me and I would be his dutiful wife. I would try to be the best wife and best daughter in law.
I was deep in my emotions, but it was time for my departure to my in-laws. I was surrounded by my family, everyone wished me good luck and I couldn’t resist my tears. I wished I had not to go and parting with family was never more painful than this time. I would now be part of some other family and in future would be just a guest in my family like my cousin sisters. We drove away in the gifted car. Now I understood how every girl feels when they part with their family after marriage. I knew my memories will always remain with me. I wished to return soon, to my family in town even as a girl. I just wanted to be there to assert my belongingness to the family.
Soon we reached our destination. I was afraid, but simultaneously relieved too. I would be in an unknown surroundings and I will be able to serve my duty without getting ashamed. As promised to my mother, I will try my best to be the good wife I thought. The new house was beautifully decorated for my reception and everyone in family was giving me warm welcome. The neighbours too were pleased to see the beautiful bride and complimented me and my husband. One of them remarked, “Deepak you are lucky to get so beautiful and young wife. She is very attractive.” I felt nice at the remark. Deepak was the eldest brother in his extended family, so I being his wife, was greeted with respect from his brothers and sisters, most of whom were elder to me. I felt little awkward as they were at least 10 years elder to me. Even the ladies much elder to me greeted with folded hands which I returned back with the same. Everybody was trying his/her bit to please me. I was happy with such a warm reception and was now at ease. After sometime, I was led into my room and made aware of the whereabouts of my belongings, which had reached from my family. The room was quiet small, but was neatly decorated for the occasion. I felt relaxed and most importantly, was relieved. Here, no one except one knew my past and I was accepted as the bride very warmly, so I could live up to the role of good wife, without bothering about what people would think of me. I changed over from the heavy bridal saree and jewellery, to a silk saree and matching earrings. Cleaned the make-up and applied fresh coat of eyeliner and lipstick. I wanted to look beautiful for the man of my life. Neighbours and guests had mostly left. I lay there in thoughts waiting for my husband. I never had thought I would be so desperate to wait for an unknown man. I had a feeling that, he would be a nice man, and after all my mother had convinced me. I just wanted to be double sure. I also wanted to think the same of me and he would find me better than he expected. There were just few people in family left now. My sister-in-law and her children. They would come now and then, to take care of me. I was enjoying their company. I had already befriended the nephew and niece by giving them some pocket money. It was getting late, but the man I was waiting for was no where to find. I asked my niece, “Where is your uncle?”. She mischievously replied, “Which uncle?”. I had no answer, I was ashamed to be direct. I just smiled for the hint, which she said, “He is watching TV”. The conversation passed on quickly and I could hear niece calling out to her mother, who in turn was telling to my Husband. I cursed myself asking the niece. I thought, they would think I was getting desperate. I quickly adjusted my saree and looked at my make-up in the mirror. He would be coming any moment and I wanted to present myself in the best way. Soon he was there. My heart was racing fast now. I quickly stood up from bed and adjusted my pallu. He was quick to respond and waved to me to sit. I sat on the edge on other end of the bed where I was standing. He said, “If you need something, tell us without hesitation, this is your home too and feel relaxed here”. I nodded. He kept himself busy with the phone and I kept sitting waiting for his instructions. After long time, he realised that, I was sitting in an uncomfortable position, so he asked me to rest myself, motioning the pillows to me. I gracefully occupied and rested myself but caring to take the least space on the side of the bed. Hour passed without conversation and noise in the house had also settled. Everyone had retired to their room it seemed.
My eyes opened at the touch of something on face. I had fallen asleep long ago, I thought. It was well passed midnight, probably 2-3 pm at night. His right arm flanked over me and so were his right leg over mine. And the touch was of his lips on my face. The room was dimly lit. I quickly tried to compose myself and tried to excuse for getting asleep. He said, “No problem, you might have got tired. If you want, you sleep”, removing his grip from me. I said, “No, I am OK”, trying to please him. He said, “So you too want”. I was bowled and speechless. He seized the opportunity to pull me in his arms. My face was over his. My hands were full of bangles, which were jingling louder at this time of night. I was trying best to control the noise. He rolled me from one side of him to other over his body. He was only in his shorts. His body was naked. I could feel the hair on his chest. He said, “You slept in the saree, you must be feeling uncomfortable. Why didn’t you change?” I tried getting up, but he didn’t let me. “Sleep, let me help you”, he said, and unhooked my blouse and pulled the sleeves. I was in my bra now. He said, “Should I remove your bangles, they are heavy and you are not used to it”. I said, “No, let it be, mother has said that, I should keep wearing them for at least a month.” He said, “OK”. I was happy he cared for me. He said, “You are very beautiful. I love you”. I could not reply and just smiled. He undressed the rest of me. I was feeling shy and simultaneously anxious whether, I will be able to please him or not. He said, “Don’t worry, I will keep you happy and you should not worry about your future anymore. I told aunty to assure your parents, not to worry anymore.” I nodded my head. Then he held me tightly and said, “You are really beautiful, you are very attractive. I fell in love the first time I saw you. Do you like me?” I was spellbound, and didn’t know what to say. I may not have liked him earlier, but my opinion for him has changed after marrying him. I had promised my mother to live up to his expectation. I didn’t reply, but put my palm on his chest so that, he take it as a sign of approval. He said, “Did they ask for your concern or forcefully married you? Anyway, whatever be the case, I will love you and keep you happy. You can feel free with me. I will let you do whatever you want to do. You are from good family and I have heard you are intelligent. I will always support you.” He was making me emotional now, I guess because he spoke all the right words I wished to hear from him. I was extremely delighted. I had wished for some freedom for me and here he is offering the same himself. Now I will have the freedom to shape my future, I would also turn around his fortunes, I convinced myself. I said, “We both will turn around our fortunes. I will always support you and respect you.” With a smile, he said, “For now I just want to love you. Can I?” I smiled back. Having my permission, he acted swiftly. He squeezed me under him and started caressing me. His palm explored my naked body as if he was taking my measurement. His lips were buried in mine. My hair strands were on my face, which were distracting him, so he paused to remove them. Smiling, he said, “You have nice hair “. He noticed hairpins in my hair and slowly pulled them out, thinking I might be feeling uncomfortable. He deep kissed me. I was almost out of my breath and moaned but he was undisturbed. My boobs were pressed by his weight, but I was unable to tell him. My face was steady between his two palms and his mouth was full of my lips. I was helpless. I had never imagined myself in this situation. He had power, which was far more than uncle. I realised this would be the plight of all women. They have secondary role in this game. I had no choice either. My physical power was no match to him, I saw. I tried to be as calm as possible, as this would be my duty for now onwards, to give him the pleasure as he wished. He was in no mood to relent. Probably he hadn’t been with a girl for long. Don’t know why, but I was pleased at this thought of him, being faithful to his past wife or I can say to me now. Now I knew why women want their men to be faithful to them. How painful It is for a woman, to share her man with other? I was feeling the same here and joyed that my man will remain loyal to me. He asked, “Did you like it?” I had no other option to say that, I did. Squeezing my boobs with his hand he said, “From tomorrow you will like every night. Let us sleep now, you must be tired today.”
I awoke in the morning at the knock on the door. I was lying naked. I quickly gathered my clothes and responded. My man was sleeping on the other side of the bed, naked in his shorts. I opened the door and greeted my sister-in-law. She was all in smiles with tea for us. She asked me to get my husband up. I was in a fix now, what to call him. So I told her he may sleep more as he slept late. She was in big laugh, “Yes, yes why not. You two must have been busy.” I was ashamed and my head was down. I was feeling foolish to have made that late remark. What she would be thinking? She said, “OK, I am going to kitchen, get him up and he can sleep after having tea.” Hesitant what to call him, I wished he gets up by himself. That was not going to be, so I softly touched his back and tried to get him up. I said, “Suniye, didi chai layi hai (sister has brought tea)”. I had to repeat it few times before he got up.
New life in a new home is always challenging. Taking new role and expectations from a new bride, it’s a tough start for every girl, I thought. I was indecisive whether to stay put or go in kitchen to help sister-in-law. I headed for the kitchen after making my mind up and helped her prepare breakfast. She was appreciating my skills. Later in the day, I was also lauded by my husband for the cooking, which made me felt happy. Never had my cooking been appreciated like this before. We together finished house chores. In the afternoon, after lunch my husband took me to bedroom and bolted the door from inside on pretext of rest. Lifting me up in arms, he landed me in middle of the bed. We were soon engaged in the act of love making. My bangles were again making noise and announcing to others what we were up to. I was feeling embarrassed. He was kissing me passionately all over. He had nailed me down under him, like a lion would to his prey but careful not to put his weight on me. He was enjoying my soft skin with his probing palm.
Next day my sister-in-law left for her home and we two were left alone. I assumed in charge of the house. It was supposed to be my duty and I was used to it from uncle’s house. I was relieved a bit, as I would not be embarrassed behind closed doors. Besides, I could now wear salwar kameez in place of saree, which I was not used to. It was also ideal situation for us, to know each other and generate faith for life long. There was also no barrier for love making. It was not at top of my thoughts, but I was feeling happy for him as he would have full access of me as his wife. I got numerous calls from my family on my well being and wishes. My husband was happy and was constantly trailing me since morning. He was bothered of me working in kitchen and was helping me in between. I would say he was finding excuses to get closer to me and love me. I let him do what he wished. By afternoon I was tired and we found some time to be on bed together. I was enjoying the company. Having spent times lonely it was nice feeling to have someone who cared for me. I was feeling pampered. There were new adjustments too. I have slept alone on bed since my childhood. I would not let my siblings to get on same bed. I liked sleeping at peace. Here since two days, I was sleeping under his arms. It is little uncomfortable, but the excitement is more than the discomfort. I may soon learn to sleep like this for the rest of my life. The other discomfort was his beard, when he rubbed against my fatty skin. I would scream at times. My skin has become more sensitive I guessed. My face became more pretty with some fat in past months and I looked more beautiful. In mirror, I was looking older after my marriage and of course I was acting more sensible now. Away from my family, I had no hesitation in accepting my new role. I just wished to see myself happy and keep others happy too. My male ego was almost gone and a new caring and dutiful wife I was trying to be. So far I was successful too, but still feared the worst, for the sexual life ahead. Will the union be happy or bring either of us in compromise? He hadn’t advanced for it, but I knew he was going to explore it soon. I had no desire for it, but I wished to satisfy him. He was in love with me, so I wished to fulfil his lust at any cost.
Next day, we headed for the honeymoon. My urge to travel led me to convince him for it. He was reluctant initially, but gave up when I insisted. I booked the tickets and we headed for a hill station. I was extremely happy and just wished to explore my freedom and be in a carefree world. We reached a nice hotel. I had kept the itinerary a surprise for him. He didn’t mind me taking the decisions. He was not one of the dominating person I found, he didn’t apply much brain into things. I was happy at my fate at last. I could enjoy my freedom now, and I was sure I would bring happiness in our life. I would start working soon and help ease his burden. For now I just wanted to enjoy the happiness. He was amazed at the luxury here in hotel and was curious about every little thing he was seeing for first time. I was happy detailing him and teaching him few lessons on curtsey and dressing. I wanted to present ourselves as a normal couple. I had packed nice clothes for me and him. He was being obedient taking every advice and instructions from me. I liked being the boss. I made him wear jeans and t-shirt, got him a trending haircut. He was looking younger of his age now. I wore floral net shirt with jeans. Red lipstick, nail polish, and red bangles matched the newly married me. Obvious with these signs, many unknown people were greeting me of happy married life. It was truly a happy life for now. I looked more charming and beautiful, than most of the newly wed who were staying with us. We had befriended few of them. A young doctor couple in our adjacent room, went with us for site seeing. The wife and me spent lots of time gossiping. We became good friends. Her name was Neha and she too was from Delhi. We promised to meet again in Delhi. After becoming girl, she was my first friend and I found that girls too enjoy friendship as much as boys do. I found her innocent at heart, but was well educated and logical. Despite she is few years elder to me, she treated me as equal and insisted to call her by the first name. She was a gynaecologist.
Tired, we lay ourselves on bed at night. He seemed happy too. I guessed whether he had enough energy left for love making. I teased him, “Seems you are tired.” He said, “Are you not?”. “But you are older”, I smiled. At once he pounced on me, “Not as much you think.” I was soon overpowered after some friendly fight. I was no match to him. He confined me in his arms and started kissing me. Soon we were naked and he was over me kissing me everywhere. My body was almost buried in the spongy bed due to his weight. I could not move myself an inch. His lips engulfed mine and his hands were pressing my boobs. I struggled for space. I was freed only after few minutes. He smiled looking at me, and I was looking at him. He said, “Do you still think I am old?” I said, “No, not anymore. Anyway, whatever you are, you are mine.” Pecking on my cheeks, he said, “You are beautiful”. I was feeling emotional and I clung to him. I have started to see him as my best friend. After long isolation, I have found his company and it was going to be for life. So I wished to give best to this relation. I also had the intercourse issue in my mind, which I wanted to discuss with him now.
Can I ask something? I was looking into his eyes. Yes, why not? His looked me back.
Why did you marry me? You knew all about me. I could not give you the real pleasure; I asked him.
You are beautiful. He tried to avoid my question, and arranged my hairs. So I repeated.
I wanted a wife as a companion and you are more than that. You are more beautiful than any other woman I could get. You are intelligent. And I find you better than me in every aspect. I will keep you happy always. He replied, and I was relieved.
Are you happy with me? He asked, and I pecked him in affirmation. He tightened his grip over me against his chest, and we smiled.
You are very brave. You have managed yourself very well. I can’t imagine your past looking at you now. You must have suffered a lot. Life as man and woman are totally different. You have different expectations from others. You have seen both and are doing best. He said.
It’s my fate. I replied.
I will support you in whatever you do; he consoled me. Thank you. My eyes became filled.
Uncle said you wanted to work. I will let you work. He said. I was very happy to hear this, and I kissed him in joy.
I want to earn, to be financially independent and make our lives better. I told him, and he nodded in affirmation.
I also want to get the surgery done to make me complete, so that we can lead a normal life. I don’t want to deprive you of sex. At last, I told him.
You are so sensible, but I can wait. He smiled. I just need your support in life. I can manage the rest. I assured him.
OK, but what if your body changes back later? He raised his concern. I have lost all hopes and I don’t think anymore about it. I replied.
I too don’t wish it, else, I will lose a beautiful wife as you. Your bottom is also juicy. You can satisfy me there too. He was getting hard. I knew what he meant. I was not expecting that, and I wasn’t prepared too.
You won’t get satisfied there. Wait for a year I will get surgery done. I looked at his face, he seemed dejected. He turned his face other side. I was shocked. I made him face me and said, “What happened?
I don’t want to hurt you, but I have urge of doing it. You are so beautiful, I can’t resist it. I can even manage there. Please don’t misunderstand me. He said. I thought for a while. I was not in a position to deny it. After all, it was his right, so I consented, “But we may need lubricants.” He was all prepared in advance, having already purchased them.
But what about safety? I asked him. We are husband wife. Do we need it? Do you doubt it? He asked me back. In fact, I was doubting him, as I didn’t know his past, but I couldn’t say anything. I had to trust him. He was quick to arrange positions of me and him.
Where did you learn this? I asked. In videos. He replied, and started the act with foreplay.
My heart was racing at the outcome so I closed my eyes. The act was painful, but it got over soon. I was relaxed. After all, my last wish of satisfying him was over and there was no more doubt in my mind. He was lying beside me looking at my tensed face.
Was it very painful? He asked. Yes, but manageable. I replied.
They said in video, first time it happens. Later you will also enjoy. He assured me.
I was not sure, but I knew it will be repeated, again and again, so I have to adjust to it. I thought how far I have travelled in my life. From a child with dreams, to an unwanted girl, to a wife, doing this. I recalled the advices, “Wife has to bear all.” He pulled me closer, “Don’t be tensed, you have done nothing wrong, here is no one beside me and you. We are husband and wife. If you deny, I will not do it again. I was advised that this will make our relation more stronger. Trust me.” I didn’t say anything and just faked a smile at him. I had forgotten my male ego months ago, but today I didn’t know how it resurfaced. All the past came in front of my eyes. For the moment, I was seeing him as a stranger, whom I needed to know more before I trust. I had heard of men, who initially impress girls with nice words and later torment them. My helplessness as a girl was visible now. But I had no other choices, I have been made to travel this far by my family itself. I was cursing inside and wished I shouldn’t have agreed for the marriage. He guessed the situation and was constantly trying to soothe me. But not succeeding, he said “OK. If you didn’t like it and want revenge, you try it on me”. I was ashamed as I knew I can’t, but now I was logical that he assigned me the role, which could fit in the act. Maybe, he was thinking for the betterment of our relation. I was little relieved. So, for making the situation little light, I said, “If I ever change back, I will penetrate you and take my revenge.” We laughed together. Pressing my boobs he said, “Till then, let me take the lead.” He resumed kissing and foreplay again. I was resigned to my fate and was now participating in the act.
Next day we were returning home. Our honeymoon was short, but was memorable. We needed to save our money too for our uncertain future. He got lots of selfies clicked and was busy circulating to friends and family. I was ashamed when few such photos reached my home. Sister-in-laws would inquire me every now and then, about the honeymoon and the loving husband he seemed in those photos. Me too in western outfits, and in his arms, seemed happy in them. They assumed I was very happy in my new life and I was settled for life. Back home I took the charge of housewife and a dutiful wife. The trip was indeed memorable.